The number 40 has a lot of significance in the Bible. In Noah's time it rained 40 days and 40 nights, the Israelites roamed the desert for 40 years, Jesus fasted in the desert for 40 days and 40 nights, and so on...
I had a tough 40 days too, Yesterday was day 40 after my transplant... It's not because of the side effects. The side effects wore off within 2 weeks after the transplant, but ever since that time, each day I have been waiting on the Lord. Waiting for this time. His perfect time...
I waited patiently for the Lord;
he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the Lord
and put their trust in him.
Psalm 40:1-3
For me to go home, my blood counts needed to pick up. For that to happen, the new stem cells that was put into me needed to find a good home in the bone marrow and start producing healthy cells. They needed to form neutrophils (combating infection), platelets (clotting) and RBCs, and many others. Only when the neutrophils touch 0.5, do they send me home, so there is lesser risk of infection (normal range is above 2).
By God's grace, I have been keeping very fit and healthy over the last 2-3 weeks, it was just that the counts were not moving. It's not easy to wait, trust me. For someone like me, who like things done soon, in time, such waiting is a real trial. A real test of my will power and patience. Not to mention, the Devil keeps putting silly/disheartening thoughts in your mind - so many "what-ifs" that pull you down. BUT I wasn't let down by these thoughts, because the Lord hasn't given us a spirit of fear, NO, he has given us a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. I kept rebuking such thoughts, and clinging onto his unfailing love for me, and using my little faith to cling onto his steadfast faith.
Romans 8:28 says: And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
I believe there is a special purpose for my life, and I believe that the Lord has HIS plans for me. Henceforth, it's not what I want to do with my life, but what His will is for my life...
Each day, prayers went up. Not just mine, but Ancy, my parents, my family, friends from our Church, loads of people who don't even know me that well, people from all parts of the globe were praying for me... For the last 10 day or so, people from our prayer group have been praying especially for me, everyday between 10 and 10:15pm. And all these added up, and kept going up to the Lord. When we pray, a saying goes like this, God can answer in 3 ways:
He says YES, and gives us what we want,
He says NO, and gives us something better,
He says WAIT, and gives us the best!
The counts stayed flat for more than a month, imagine how the wait was. Everyday asking the nurse my counts, and the answer coming back as your neutrophils are still zero. Now, about a week back, they got to 0.1, but again the Doctors don't treat that very important, and they need to see a rise. The last few days, I stopped asking even, and just waited for the Lord to do his miracle. That's why this post is a day late, because ONLY today I got told by the Consultant that my neutrophils was 0.2 yesterday... :)
Now, this long wait was for a reason... Only the Master planner knows. I could only guess and believe in my heart that it was so that the cells adjust well, and will work well for the rest of my lifetime... I thank the Lord for his wondering grace, each day is a blessing from above. Thanks to you ALL for praying for me, please do continue to do so... I am praying for you too - if you have any special needs, do let me know, so I can pray specifically for your needs. We serve a God who loves us and IF we ask Him anything in Jesus name, he will not disappoint us... Either we get what we ask for, or else something much much better...!
God bless...
No comments:
Post a Comment