Future in my Lord's hands

Psalms 62:1-2 (NLT) - I wait quietly before God, for my victory comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will never be shaken.

Most of you all have followed me on my journey in battling cancer. It's over 3yrs now and the fight continues. For those who don’t know, and have missed stuff, thought I write a post about what's happened so far, and what next...

I was diagnosed with AML (Acute myeloid leukaemia, a type of blood cancer) in Aug 2012. I went through 3 cycles of high dose chemo and got back to work rather soon (within 4 months). Unfortunately, it relapsed again in July 2013, and the plan was for me to have 1 high dose chemo, followed by a bone marrow transplant. But as they did not find a 10/10 donor for me, I went through another 2 cycles of chemo and then had an autologous transplant (wherein my own stem cells were harvested, made sure are cancer free and then given back to me). This was in April 2014. It took a long while to recover, but I started work slowly in October 2014, and was making a good recovery. Unfortunately, I again relapsed in Feb of this year…

As there were no standard treatments for me, I was put on a 6 month trial of RAvVA (My last post has more details, click here), where lose dose chemo is administered, and the hope is that it affects only the cancerous cells. It was a 7day course each month, and I tried working in-between whenever possible. After 3 cycles (3months), things looked good. But from tests done in mid Sept, the consultant has said that the treatment is not working and the blasts cells (Leukemic) are increasing. I’ve been having severe body pain for the last few weeks now, specifically in the bones, and they are doing further tests to determine the cause.

At the moment, clinically the future is looking dim, but I’m praying for a miracle and things turn around. A slight chance of another treatment is that of “antibodies”. It’s so new that only 15 people have gone on it so far. So no data about outcomes. They say it was successful on mice in the lab :) So that’s whats been happening the last 2 weeks, series of tests and also checking if I can be eligible for this antibodies trial. It's just phase 1 of trial, where they are still trying to determine the right dosages and if it benefits patients.

Physical, I’m very weak and as the neutrophils counts are low, I avoid going out much. Just Hospital runs. Hence haven’t been able to make it to office for a long time now and most likely will be going on long term sick leave. I'm at my weakest now, and so I rejoice because when I am weak, HE is strong. Only a miracle can save me now, and that's what we are praying for. Have submitted my life in His hands and waiting for my Lord Jesus Christ.

That’s it from me. But before I close, let me once again call out the ‘Stem cell donor’ bit. For those who still haven’t registered, it’s a noble cause. It’s just a bit more than regular blood donation, IF you are ever found to be a match. The initial step is to register only (Fill a form and give a cheek swab). We have had many donor registrations drives in UK, India and US too, and it's great to know that few individuals have already been contacted to be a donor and save a life. You can always go online and order a kit for free: http://www.deletebloodcancer.org.uk/en/register-now
Or http://www.anthonynolan.org/

So till my next post, take care and keep praying for me.

God bless...

The 3 stripes of Adidas

[2nd attempt. Blogger hung on me and I lost half the post, so had to redo it. The Devil tries, but can't stop me... :) He can only TRY...!!!]

For those who know me, they will know that I am an Adidas guy. I'm not sure when the craze started, but it has been well over a decade (around the turn of the century maybe). Not sure what it was, maybe the simplicity of a brand with 3 stripes... In any case, I gradually only started buying Adidas gear and now most of my wardrobe is full of stripes. lol...

A few days back, I got asked again by a church friend about why Adidas, and I referred to The Trinity and said by His stripes we are saved. Although it came on as a general quick-wit comment, I really liked the thought, and it got me thinking. All this while, I've been wearing the 3 stripes, and it was just another brand for me. Now, it has much more meaning. I wear the 3 stripes and I have the trinity with me at all times - God the Father, Christ Jesus the Son and the Holy Spirit.

Let me refer some verses: 
1 Peter 2:24 - He himself bore our sins in His body on the tree (cross), so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by His stripes (wounds) you have been healed.

This talks about Jesus paying the price for our sins, but not just that; he also paid the price for our healing - both spiritual and physical healing. There is another verse which talks about physical healing by the blood of Jesus Christ.
Matthew 8:17 - This was to fulfill what was spoken through the prophet Isaiah: "He took up our infirmities and carried our diseases."
[Which refers to the fulfilling of the prophesy from the Old Testament in Isaiah 53:4-5]

How amazing... To know that all these years, knowing or unknowingly I have been under the protection of the Trinity. Like spiderman's uncle said, "With great power, comes great responsibility." :) I don't have any power, just the strength that comes from the grace and mercy of our Lord. But still, now it is an added responsibility as I wear the stripes of Jesus. Actions speak louder than words, and today I realise how my actions need to show a life in Christ as I bear the stripes...

Not sure if you saw the post I shared on FB earlier today (from a group called Christian PF). Honestly, I thought about this topic 3-4 days back, and had written the subject and 1-2 paras also, but just didn't manage to finish writing. Today when I saw this post on FB, I was really touched by it. Today was the day for this blog post, and the picture message ties in so well to this topic. That our lives, the way we lead it, should make non-believers question their disbelief in God.

So my healing has been pre-approved, over 2000 years ago. And my faith is strong and nothing can change the way I feel about tomorrow and the years ahead. The Lord has something planned for my life and my humble prayer is this: Take me and mould me oh God...!!! So that when people get to know me, they will know you better...!

On the treatment front, I was due to meet the consultant tomorrow (Jan 8, 2014) and discuss next steps with regards to the transplant. But few test results were not back yet, and the meeting has been postponed to sometime next week. The Lord's timing is perfect and I don't fear one second about whats going to happen. Whatever will happen will happen for the best. I live all the days of my life that have been given to me from above. And I pray that each of these days, I spend knowing more about my Saviour, and declaring his wonderful works.


Disclaimer: I am NOT getting paid by #Adidas (maybe they should consider it now) and don't wish to make any comments that can cause corporate advertising issues... :) These thoughts are mine and ONLY my thoughts...