The roller-coaster ride continues

Hello Everyone,

Firstly, apologies for the long delay since the last post. This post has been long pending, and finally I sat to write and update you about my life...

Being told I had cancer was a BIG shock back in 2012, then there was even greater disappointment when it relapsed in 2013 and the reason for this delayed post is that I had a second relapse earlier this year. Yep, my counts started dropping towards the end of Jan, and there were more tests done through Feb, and they finally confirmed a relapse!

Needless to say, there were so many mixed feelings, that it was overwhelming...!!! Being me, I never could express it well, but somehow by God's grace I've held on. Everyone around have been encouraging and very very supportive, but for me, enduring this isn't easy to say the less... :) Thoughts do come as to why I am suffering like this, going back and forth with the illness - BUT with the little shaky faith I have, I try and cling onto my Lord's great faithfulness...

My dad mentions this verse, and it relates so well to the phase I'm going through...
            "In the multitude of my thoughts within me, thy comforts delight my soul." Psalm 94:19

So, 2nd relapse... Doctors said I have to have chemotherapy again, followed by another transplant. The thought was totally unacceptable...! Again 2-3 courses of high dose chemo - my body would just not cope! Then a transplant, that too I don't have a full 10/10 match. So it would be a cord-blood or haplo(50-50 match with parents) transplant. I was praying for an alternative... And that's when they told me I could be eligible for a trials treatment called RAvVA, where in I get low dose chemo and it would not be as intensive. It needed a minimum of 6 cycles (1 month each), wherein I get sub-cut injections for 7(working) days and then a break until the next. I didn't have to be hospitalised and could possibly work the rest of the time during the break period.

Traditional chemotherapy aims to kill all cancerous cells, but at the same time kills good cells too. With this trial treatment, it tries to curb the cell cycle of cancerous cells and thus make more room for normal cells to grow. In short explanation... :) After consulting with family and other specialists in the field, we opted for the RAvVA treatment. And it started in March earlier this year. As my neutrophil counts had completed dropped, the first two cycles were not easy. I fell ill with high temperature (neutropenic sepsis) and was admitted in hospital 3 times. There was pneumonia and further lung infection and all...

Anyways, by God's grace, I got through all that and was able to be at home for 3-4days before the start of the 3rd cycle. The 3rd cycle went well, and after the 7days of injection, I was able to get back home. And have been at home for the last 2 weeks. Tomorrow I start my 4th cycle, and hence was desperate to get this blog out and update you all...

The last two weeks, I was able to eat well and put back some pounds, and get fit and ready for the next cycle. Although its low dose therapy, I still have some nausea and tiredness, so do loose weight. That's why I have been eating as much as possible... :) By God's grace, I was able to work too, and thanks to a very supportive team at Cisco, I was able to work in my time and complete the tasks given to me. It's a real blessing to be at #Cisco and have the flexibility to work from home and have the full support of my manager (and higher up) and my team amidst these difficult times.

So that's about it guys... I summed up the last 5 months quickly, to update up you all that I am doing well. I believe that there is a purpose for these tough times, and believe there are much better times ahead. Our Lord Jesus has special plans for me... I pray that he uses me for the extension of His kingdom... I though so unworthy, still am a child of His care! Thanks to you all who have been praying for me. It's these prayers which have kept me strong!

Love and regards to you all...

God bless...

Blessings from above

Hello Everyone,

This post should have gone out a couple days back, but never got around to doing it... :) Couple days back meaning 30th Dec... Marking our 5th marriage anniversary...!!!

Of these five years, the last 2 years have been very different to what a married couple would expect. Needlessly to say, it has been a roller-coaster ride, but if we really look back closely - even through the rough times, our Lord Almighty has guided our paths and we've seen miracle after miracle... It has made us stronger and more resilient. And not just us, we have seen our family and friends grow in faith too, as they all lend us a helping hand.

My wife Ancy, has gone through so much. At a time when she should have been enjoying the initial years of marriage, she had to support me. If my OCD wasn't bad enough, she had to care for my needs too. My parents have had enough of me during my childhood days considering what a brat I was, and instead of relaxing now, they too had to care for me...!!! Everyone of my family members have lend a helping hand during these times, and its a true blessing. Here in London, so many of our friends have helped us in so many ways. And around UK and in different parts of the world, so many helped organise stem cell donor registration drives... So a BIG THANK YOU to you all...!!!

I'm glad to tell you that from the drives done, 5 individuals have already been identified as matches for others. It's such a wonderful thing, to know that the Lord used us to find donors who will act as life savers. So we shouldn't stop conducting these stem cell donor drives. We need to continue to raise awareness and get more and more people to register as donors.

My blood counts have been stable for the last 3 months now, and I haven't needed any transfusions, which is simply awesome. The counts are still climbing gradually, and need to get into normal levels, but we're praying this happens soon. We have set our targets, and thank God everyday for the counts he will give me... The last month, thanks to the climate change, I've been down with cough and cold - but by God's grace have been managing well. Seems like everyone in London is coughing... :)

As I start 2015 now, I believe that the Lord has special plans, and His plans are better than anything we can ever ask and think about. I submit myself to HIM, and thank him for all the many good days ahead... I thank HIM that he will use me as an instrument, so that His will be done.

God bless you all, have a wonderful 2015, filled with HIS choicest blessings...

Another major milestone

I know its been a while since my last post, and I can't make any excuses, because it is really my fault for not taking out time to blog more often. I've had a calm few months now, and all along praying for the blood counts to come up and envisioning (believing fully) that my counts will be restored to BETTER than before values. BETTER than what they were in July 2012, before any treatment started. Chemotherapy have battered my bone marrow, and doctors say the counts would never be as high as before, BUT I have a Lord who is mighty. He is all powerful, and can do wonderful things...! What seems impossible in our worldly eyes, is possible for my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. Hallelujah, Amen...!

So what have I been doing the last few months? Well, in August the PICC line (on the left arm) got infected. I got up one morning with severe pain and swelling in the arm, and had to rush to hospital. It was oozing pus and they decided to pull the line out. As the arm was swollen, and pus was there, I was started on anti-biotics. Later a small clot was discovered, due to which they had to give me blood thinning injections. And because my platelets were below 50, I had to be given platelets everyday, following which I could self inject the blood thinning medication.

My neutrophil counts had come to 2.9 before this incident, but due to the heavy anti-biotics and possibly the blood thinning too, the counts kept dropping and had reached 0.3 at one stage. It was then I requested the doctor to allow me to stop the blood thinning. The arm swelling had decreased, BUT it was a gamble then, because the clot could get worse and the arm would swell up again and there could have been further complications. BUT we prayed and decided to wait on the Lord. By God's grace, it didn't get worse, but the neutrophils again was low and I had to be more careful and stay indoors.

Check out this crude graph I whipped up, showing the roller-coaster ride the neutrophil counts have taken:

Around May time they were flat at zero, but thats post transplant. Then you can see two peaks at 3.7 and 2.9, but infections happened and they again dropped. The last drop from 2.9 (Aug 1st week) is what I was talking above. Since then the neutrophils made a slow recovery, hovering around the 0.6-0.7 range, until two weeks back. Then on my brother-in-laws birthday, 15th Oct it crossed 1 in over two months...! And yesterday, the neutrophils were 2.3, just in time for my return to work today. :) What great timing from the Lord. We see delays in things all the time, and get impatient - but our Lord provides and His timing is always perfect...!

Also, by God's grace, the platelets have been stable since the start of October. And I have not needed any transfusion for about 3 weeks now. Still around 20 only, and have a LONG way to go to the values we have envisioned and praying about, but atleast its stable. We have jotted down values for what we want the counts to be, thats our vision for the values of Hb, WBC, platelets and neutrophils. And we don't ask for it in prayer, BUT we THANK GOD for giving it to us.

Thanks once again for all your prayers. Especially pray for my work, that I can diligently do my duties. I pray for all of you too, and believe that praying for others in more important, as our needs will automatically be meet by the Lord.

God bless...!

100 days post transplant

Today marks 100 days after the autologous stem cell transplant that I had back in April. I thank God for keeping me well, and by His Grace and Mercy I'm keeping fit and healthy.
The road has been a bit bumpy, and there are many more miles to go, but I ain't complaining. Because when you hear the stories of many in similar situations, you can't help but acknowledge the divine blessings from above. And believe that His angels have been guiding and guarding me all throughout. I know the Master has everything planned and I believe that I will live long and declare His works...

The counts are still crawling up, but its growing slowly and steadily. I know that my bone marrow is recovering, and my Lord and saviour has healed me. Hallelujah...! The doctors obviously need to test things, and so I have to have a bone marrow test this coming Tuesday (29th July). It's a pretty painful process where they stick a needle onto your hip bone, and draw out some marrow for testing. It could take 10mins, and it could take much longer too. One of the times, it took around 50mins, but the worst was little over an hour... :) I've laid there praying for the pain to end...

Remember, life ain't without trials and difficulties. But Jesus is the one who can give you the strength and courage to endure in the midst of troubles. Most of us will know the incident when Jesus calms the storm (Matthew Ch.8). I recently heard a message on this bible portion, where the sea is compared to life. We can't simply sit on the shore, but have to journey into the sea to face life's journey. The sea isn't always calm, there can be small waves, big waves and storms too, but whats important is that:
- We have Jesus in our boat (in our lives)
- And that we trust in Him completely
- We shouldn't let our faith be shaken by the evil one

Please continue to uphold me in your prayers as you have done so far. Believe with me that I have been healed, and in your prayers, thank God for the complete healing He has bestowed upon me. There are so many of us who need prayers, and I am praying for all those I know about. If you have a special need, and I can pray for you, please do let me know. Let us all come together and be an extended family, offering our prayers to the Almighty...

God bless...!

Be a fool for Christ

I wrote these few lines some days back, on he phone. Didn't have the strength to finish and publish then. But lets see how it goes now... This was around 12th April...

Ancy was with me sometime today. During those 2hrs that she was with me she saw me vomiting twice... She helped and was supportive. She always has been. Our parents see so much of our weakness too as we grow up, so much they bear for us. So much they support and care for us. Now, imagine, how much more do the nurse's and doctor's see... While we don't have our family around, the support staff at Hospitals help us a lot and see a LOT of our weakness. Right?

Now, imagine, HOW MUCH MORE DOES GOD SEE OUR WEAKNESS...? and its not just our sickness, illness's or pains. God's knows our innermost being. All our hidden pains, weakness and faults. but even after knowing ALL this, is still loves us unconditionally...!!!

Today is my new Birthday, my new life in Christ. And hence I want to live this new live in HIM. Give whatever you have to him, and let Jesus multiply it...

My Birthday: April 16, 2014 (Day 0)

My Mission: Be a fool for Christ!

Thanks to ALL for your prayers...

God bless...!

Marrow to thy bones

Praise the Lord Almighty, for enabling me to be fit and fine. I know it’s been a long absence, and I should have written more. But the evil one always finds ways to keep us away from declaring HIS works...

Last week, I had some severe swelling in both eyes. Started with redness and both eyes were red/sore, and the pharmacist gave drops for conjunctivitis. As it did not settle after 3days and both eyelids had swollen up, I visited the eye doctors and it was sties in both eyes...!!! I'm not sure if I ever had a sty in the eye, but this time had two, one in each eye... :) Anyways, my eyes got better over the weekend, and the swelling in the right eye went away completely this Monday, and it’s almost gone in the left eye too. The Doctor had given me antibiotics for 5 days and advised to do hot-compress treatment 3-4 times a day. By placing hot/warm towel on the eyes and massaging it a bit.

So that kept me away from the computer and cell phone for 3-4days. In a way it’s good, as I rested much more. Else I'm always online (computer, phone, tablet, etc) and it’s so addictive that time just gets wasted... Also, we're preparing for our annual charity program, and so was doing my bit to help the youths of our church. Please check out the Facebook page here: www.facebook.com/YouthFest2014

For those who remember, I had done the stem cell extraction mid-Dec, but the final results are not back yet. And that’s why I still don't have any concrete news about the transplant steps. The Doctor said the low level tests showed good results, but the high resolution (or much deeper test results are still pending). BUT that’s not a problem, I trust in the Lord's timing. And everything happens for the best...

Since the stem cell collection procedure, I had not done any blood tests - so was advised to do one today just to check on things. All the results are positive. Most of the blood counts are very much in the normal range, like for any normal person. Platelets are a bit lower than ideal, but it’s not anything to be alarmed about. Can't thank the Lord enough for taking care of me, and enabling my body to recover from all the chemotherapy...

That’s the latest... Oh, incase you wondering about the post title... If you aren't, what’s wrong with you? I'm thinking up innovative titles to catch your attention, and you haven't bothered to think about it...! lol...

About the title: My cousin +David Anush had organised a stem cell donor drive in Trivandrum, along with the help of many others whom I've not met - BUT they did so much, that I don't know how to thank them. +Suresh Devarajan & +Suresh John Jacob are two others I have to mention for an amazing drive at TVM, where over 350 people registered. There was a small write-up in the newspaper too. Picture on Facebook. It’s amazing how friends of friends and their friends have all come together and helped so much in so many ways. And most of all in prayers...

So at this drive, a lady called Manju Gilbert (G+ showed me 3 Manju's, so couldn't link) got to know about me. And during one of her meditations with the Gospel, God spoke to her in Proverbs 3:1-8. She had read it in the NIV and NKJV versions, but somehow was prompted and inspired to read the KJV too... Let me quote from her email to me:
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"Morning I had promised myself to spend some more time later in the day meditating on Proverbs 3:1-8. I didn’t get round to doing it. I could feel a gentle prompting, revisit it & that I did and not only in NIV & NKJV version but also in KJV. I read it and the first thing that struck me is Oh my God this for Jason. I believe that verse/version from KJV(King James Version) is for Jason. 

Proverbs 3:2 - For the length of days & long life and peace, shall they add to thee... 6: In all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy path. 7: Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the Lord and depart from evil. 8: It shall be health(medicine literal meaning in Hebrew) to thy navel(body) and marrow to thy bones. Amen"
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Yes, she called me 'Jason' - not a big deal. Many of you still don't know how to pronounce or spell my name... hehe... :) But that’s how I came to this title. Such an inspiring and thoughtful message, from someone whom I've never might. Its awesome when I think about the prayers being said for me, even without my knowledge. A pastor once said our prayers ALL add up. As the basket fills, they are carried to our Lord... And the basket much FILL to the brim before going up... So prayer for others too, not just our own needs... You never know when your prayer might be the one to fill the basket, and will help shoot of the whole load of requests unto the Lord...

I try to pray for others too. Mostly generically, but also taking names - but at times we can forget. So today, I have started writing all the names down, so I can call out each of them, and not forget. Our prayers should be more for others... More for thanking the Lord for his unfailing grace and mercy... More to declare our love and to acknowledge that Jesus died for us and has paid the price for our sins and our healing...

The 3 stripes of Adidas

[2nd attempt. Blogger hung on me and I lost half the post, so had to redo it. The Devil tries, but can't stop me... :) He can only TRY...!!!]

For those who know me, they will know that I am an Adidas guy. I'm not sure when the craze started, but it has been well over a decade (around the turn of the century maybe). Not sure what it was, maybe the simplicity of a brand with 3 stripes... In any case, I gradually only started buying Adidas gear and now most of my wardrobe is full of stripes. lol...

A few days back, I got asked again by a church friend about why Adidas, and I referred to The Trinity and said by His stripes we are saved. Although it came on as a general quick-wit comment, I really liked the thought, and it got me thinking. All this while, I've been wearing the 3 stripes, and it was just another brand for me. Now, it has much more meaning. I wear the 3 stripes and I have the trinity with me at all times - God the Father, Christ Jesus the Son and the Holy Spirit.

Let me refer some verses: 
1 Peter 2:24 - He himself bore our sins in His body on the tree (cross), so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by His stripes (wounds) you have been healed.

This talks about Jesus paying the price for our sins, but not just that; he also paid the price for our healing - both spiritual and physical healing. There is another verse which talks about physical healing by the blood of Jesus Christ.
Matthew 8:17 - This was to fulfill what was spoken through the prophet Isaiah: "He took up our infirmities and carried our diseases."
[Which refers to the fulfilling of the prophesy from the Old Testament in Isaiah 53:4-5]

How amazing... To know that all these years, knowing or unknowingly I have been under the protection of the Trinity. Like spiderman's uncle said, "With great power, comes great responsibility." :) I don't have any power, just the strength that comes from the grace and mercy of our Lord. But still, now it is an added responsibility as I wear the stripes of Jesus. Actions speak louder than words, and today I realise how my actions need to show a life in Christ as I bear the stripes...

Not sure if you saw the post I shared on FB earlier today (from a group called Christian PF). Honestly, I thought about this topic 3-4 days back, and had written the subject and 1-2 paras also, but just didn't manage to finish writing. Today when I saw this post on FB, I was really touched by it. Today was the day for this blog post, and the picture message ties in so well to this topic. That our lives, the way we lead it, should make non-believers question their disbelief in God.

So my healing has been pre-approved, over 2000 years ago. And my faith is strong and nothing can change the way I feel about tomorrow and the years ahead. The Lord has something planned for my life and my humble prayer is this: Take me and mould me oh God...!!! So that when people get to know me, they will know you better...!

On the treatment front, I was due to meet the consultant tomorrow (Jan 8, 2014) and discuss next steps with regards to the transplant. But few test results were not back yet, and the meeting has been postponed to sometime next week. The Lord's timing is perfect and I don't fear one second about whats going to happen. Whatever will happen will happen for the best. I live all the days of my life that have been given to me from above. And I pray that each of these days, I spend knowing more about my Saviour, and declaring his wonderful works.


Disclaimer: I am NOT getting paid by #Adidas (maybe they should consider it now) and don't wish to make any comments that can cause corporate advertising issues... :) These thoughts are mine and ONLY my thoughts...