Future in my Lord's hands

Psalms 62:1-2 (NLT) - I wait quietly before God, for my victory comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will never be shaken.

Most of you all have followed me on my journey in battling cancer. It's over 3yrs now and the fight continues. For those who don’t know, and have missed stuff, thought I write a post about what's happened so far, and what next...

I was diagnosed with AML (Acute myeloid leukaemia, a type of blood cancer) in Aug 2012. I went through 3 cycles of high dose chemo and got back to work rather soon (within 4 months). Unfortunately, it relapsed again in July 2013, and the plan was for me to have 1 high dose chemo, followed by a bone marrow transplant. But as they did not find a 10/10 donor for me, I went through another 2 cycles of chemo and then had an autologous transplant (wherein my own stem cells were harvested, made sure are cancer free and then given back to me). This was in April 2014. It took a long while to recover, but I started work slowly in October 2014, and was making a good recovery. Unfortunately, I again relapsed in Feb of this year…

As there were no standard treatments for me, I was put on a 6 month trial of RAvVA (My last post has more details, click here), where lose dose chemo is administered, and the hope is that it affects only the cancerous cells. It was a 7day course each month, and I tried working in-between whenever possible. After 3 cycles (3months), things looked good. But from tests done in mid Sept, the consultant has said that the treatment is not working and the blasts cells (Leukemic) are increasing. I’ve been having severe body pain for the last few weeks now, specifically in the bones, and they are doing further tests to determine the cause.

At the moment, clinically the future is looking dim, but I’m praying for a miracle and things turn around. A slight chance of another treatment is that of “antibodies”. It’s so new that only 15 people have gone on it so far. So no data about outcomes. They say it was successful on mice in the lab :) So that’s whats been happening the last 2 weeks, series of tests and also checking if I can be eligible for this antibodies trial. It's just phase 1 of trial, where they are still trying to determine the right dosages and if it benefits patients.

Physical, I’m very weak and as the neutrophils counts are low, I avoid going out much. Just Hospital runs. Hence haven’t been able to make it to office for a long time now and most likely will be going on long term sick leave. I'm at my weakest now, and so I rejoice because when I am weak, HE is strong. Only a miracle can save me now, and that's what we are praying for. Have submitted my life in His hands and waiting for my Lord Jesus Christ.

That’s it from me. But before I close, let me once again call out the ‘Stem cell donor’ bit. For those who still haven’t registered, it’s a noble cause. It’s just a bit more than regular blood donation, IF you are ever found to be a match. The initial step is to register only (Fill a form and give a cheek swab). We have had many donor registrations drives in UK, India and US too, and it's great to know that few individuals have already been contacted to be a donor and save a life. You can always go online and order a kit for free: http://www.deletebloodcancer.org.uk/en/register-now
Or http://www.anthonynolan.org/

So till my next post, take care and keep praying for me.

God bless...

Fouth treatment cycle over

I'm back fairly quickly this time... :) Firstly, because I really want to make it a point to blog, BUT more importantly, because by God's grace the 4th treatment cycle got over without any major hurdles. I have some tooth trouble this time, but it's being treated with anti-biotics. As I mentioned earlier, I started the 4th cycle on 22nd June and finished in time for 30th June. Got back home on Tuesday night itself... Wednesday was a bit tiring and it's taken a couple of days to feel normal :)

Really need to thank the nurses who take care of me and so many others. Doctors and consultants too are really helpful. It's because they do their work diligently that we are able to lead normal lives. I continue to pray for them - all the health care people around the world... May God continue to guide them and lead them and work miracles through them. Amen!

Nothing much to write today, so maybe I'll give some more details about the RAvVA treatment. As mentioned on the last post, its a different type of low dose chemo, less intensive. The initial trial is of 6 cycles (1 month each), and they assess how effective the medicine has been, and if it would be beneficial to continue, or wait and watch. For this RAvVA trial, you get randomized to have just the subcut injections OR subcut injections+oral chemo capsules. Again, as mentioned, traditional chemotherapy kills all cancerous cells, but at the same time kills good cells too. With this trial treatment, few good cells are lost, but the main aim is to try and curb the growth of cancerous cells and thus make more room for normal cells to grow.

The subcut injections are called Azacitidine - subcut meaning injections given into fatty issue. Like the stomach, back of your upper arm, thighs. The first 2-3 cycles this was a big problem for me, as I had no fat... :) The injections sting a lot and the pain remains for few days. :( so more the fat, the better. Azacitidine has been approved for used with Myelodysplastic Syndromes (MDS) patients and it's being trialed for AML now.

And then I got randomized to having the oral chemo too, which is a drug called Vorinostat - I need to have 3capsules morning and night time (12hrs apart) for 9 days. I start taking it on day 3 and it completes along with the 7 injections (because the injections are not given over weekends, got it?).

Apart from chemo, I have to take Septrin (anti-viral) and Voriconazole (anti-fungal) for the chest infection I had in April/May. Along with these, there are the usual prophylactic meds (Aciclovir, Ciprofloxin, Lanzoprezole) and nausea meds too. This time I was on 3 different nausea/vomiting drugs, so just vomited twice in the whole cycle, which is a really big thing for me, as vomiting is the main side effect I have. The prophylactic meds are continuous - they say Aciclovir is for life and the other 2 can stop when counts improve. Nausea meds I have only while the injections are on (maybe a day or two after incase not keeping well). Septrin and Voriconazole will continue for sometime, as the chest infection was pretty severe.

So that sums all the meds that I am on... :) I need lots of water unlike some who can take a small sip and have their meds. So I get full drinking water while taking these tablets! With all these meds which are meant to help me, if you start reading about possible side effects, it's all God's grace...! I seldom look at the side effects and Ancy does not look at them at all. Why worry she says... I don't get worried, but I can't be bothered. It's all in His mighty hands and I take each day as it comes...

I'm back to work too btw, inbetween treatment cycles, and the team is very co-operative. So I don't get any urgent time bound stuff to do. But that does mean I get stuff that no one wants to do... hehe... :) Cisco folk (especially my colleagues), no offense ok... I really appreciate all the help, patience and support. It helps keep my mind active and I don't forget things... And doing these odd tasks means I get to work on various different products/protocols, which only enhances my overall knowledge. In the last few weeks, I got back to SNMP stuff after years, installed and configured an Oracle DB for the first time and got vSphere Update manager (VUM) integrated with the DB (refreshed ODBC stuff) - so all good... Cisco rocks!

Anyhoo... this was supposed to be a short blog, and look what I've done...! If interested in the RAvVA trial, there is loads on google and you can read more here, about the positive signs...!

Keep praying for me and all those who need complete healing...

God bless!

Another major milestone

I know its been a while since my last post, and I can't make any excuses, because it is really my fault for not taking out time to blog more often. I've had a calm few months now, and all along praying for the blood counts to come up and envisioning (believing fully) that my counts will be restored to BETTER than before values. BETTER than what they were in July 2012, before any treatment started. Chemotherapy have battered my bone marrow, and doctors say the counts would never be as high as before, BUT I have a Lord who is mighty. He is all powerful, and can do wonderful things...! What seems impossible in our worldly eyes, is possible for my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. Hallelujah, Amen...!

So what have I been doing the last few months? Well, in August the PICC line (on the left arm) got infected. I got up one morning with severe pain and swelling in the arm, and had to rush to hospital. It was oozing pus and they decided to pull the line out. As the arm was swollen, and pus was there, I was started on anti-biotics. Later a small clot was discovered, due to which they had to give me blood thinning injections. And because my platelets were below 50, I had to be given platelets everyday, following which I could self inject the blood thinning medication.

My neutrophil counts had come to 2.9 before this incident, but due to the heavy anti-biotics and possibly the blood thinning too, the counts kept dropping and had reached 0.3 at one stage. It was then I requested the doctor to allow me to stop the blood thinning. The arm swelling had decreased, BUT it was a gamble then, because the clot could get worse and the arm would swell up again and there could have been further complications. BUT we prayed and decided to wait on the Lord. By God's grace, it didn't get worse, but the neutrophils again was low and I had to be more careful and stay indoors.

Check out this crude graph I whipped up, showing the roller-coaster ride the neutrophil counts have taken:

Around May time they were flat at zero, but thats post transplant. Then you can see two peaks at 3.7 and 2.9, but infections happened and they again dropped. The last drop from 2.9 (Aug 1st week) is what I was talking above. Since then the neutrophils made a slow recovery, hovering around the 0.6-0.7 range, until two weeks back. Then on my brother-in-laws birthday, 15th Oct it crossed 1 in over two months...! And yesterday, the neutrophils were 2.3, just in time for my return to work today. :) What great timing from the Lord. We see delays in things all the time, and get impatient - but our Lord provides and His timing is always perfect...!

Also, by God's grace, the platelets have been stable since the start of October. And I have not needed any transfusion for about 3 weeks now. Still around 20 only, and have a LONG way to go to the values we have envisioned and praying about, but atleast its stable. We have jotted down values for what we want the counts to be, thats our vision for the values of Hb, WBC, platelets and neutrophils. And we don't ask for it in prayer, BUT we THANK GOD for giving it to us.

Thanks once again for all your prayers. Especially pray for my work, that I can diligently do my duties. I pray for all of you too, and believe that praying for others in more important, as our needs will automatically be meet by the Lord.

God bless...!

100 days post transplant

Today marks 100 days after the autologous stem cell transplant that I had back in April. I thank God for keeping me well, and by His Grace and Mercy I'm keeping fit and healthy.
The road has been a bit bumpy, and there are many more miles to go, but I ain't complaining. Because when you hear the stories of many in similar situations, you can't help but acknowledge the divine blessings from above. And believe that His angels have been guiding and guarding me all throughout. I know the Master has everything planned and I believe that I will live long and declare His works...

The counts are still crawling up, but its growing slowly and steadily. I know that my bone marrow is recovering, and my Lord and saviour has healed me. Hallelujah...! The doctors obviously need to test things, and so I have to have a bone marrow test this coming Tuesday (29th July). It's a pretty painful process where they stick a needle onto your hip bone, and draw out some marrow for testing. It could take 10mins, and it could take much longer too. One of the times, it took around 50mins, but the worst was little over an hour... :) I've laid there praying for the pain to end...

Remember, life ain't without trials and difficulties. But Jesus is the one who can give you the strength and courage to endure in the midst of troubles. Most of us will know the incident when Jesus calms the storm (Matthew Ch.8). I recently heard a message on this bible portion, where the sea is compared to life. We can't simply sit on the shore, but have to journey into the sea to face life's journey. The sea isn't always calm, there can be small waves, big waves and storms too, but whats important is that:
- We have Jesus in our boat (in our lives)
- And that we trust in Him completely
- We shouldn't let our faith be shaken by the evil one

Please continue to uphold me in your prayers as you have done so far. Believe with me that I have been healed, and in your prayers, thank God for the complete healing He has bestowed upon me. There are so many of us who need prayers, and I am praying for all those I know about. If you have a special need, and I can pray for you, please do let me know. Let us all come together and be an extended family, offering our prayers to the Almighty...

God bless...!

Be a fool for Christ

I wrote these few lines some days back, on he phone. Didn't have the strength to finish and publish then. But lets see how it goes now... This was around 12th April...

Ancy was with me sometime today. During those 2hrs that she was with me she saw me vomiting twice... She helped and was supportive. She always has been. Our parents see so much of our weakness too as we grow up, so much they bear for us. So much they support and care for us. Now, imagine, how much more do the nurse's and doctor's see... While we don't have our family around, the support staff at Hospitals help us a lot and see a LOT of our weakness. Right?

Now, imagine, HOW MUCH MORE DOES GOD SEE OUR WEAKNESS...? and its not just our sickness, illness's or pains. God's knows our innermost being. All our hidden pains, weakness and faults. but even after knowing ALL this, is still loves us unconditionally...!!!

Today is my new Birthday, my new life in Christ. And hence I want to live this new live in HIM. Give whatever you have to him, and let Jesus multiply it...

My Birthday: April 16, 2014 (Day 0)

My Mission: Be a fool for Christ!

Thanks to ALL for your prayers...

God bless...!

Marrow to thy bones

Praise the Lord Almighty, for enabling me to be fit and fine. I know it’s been a long absence, and I should have written more. But the evil one always finds ways to keep us away from declaring HIS works...

Last week, I had some severe swelling in both eyes. Started with redness and both eyes were red/sore, and the pharmacist gave drops for conjunctivitis. As it did not settle after 3days and both eyelids had swollen up, I visited the eye doctors and it was sties in both eyes...!!! I'm not sure if I ever had a sty in the eye, but this time had two, one in each eye... :) Anyways, my eyes got better over the weekend, and the swelling in the right eye went away completely this Monday, and it’s almost gone in the left eye too. The Doctor had given me antibiotics for 5 days and advised to do hot-compress treatment 3-4 times a day. By placing hot/warm towel on the eyes and massaging it a bit.

So that kept me away from the computer and cell phone for 3-4days. In a way it’s good, as I rested much more. Else I'm always online (computer, phone, tablet, etc) and it’s so addictive that time just gets wasted... Also, we're preparing for our annual charity program, and so was doing my bit to help the youths of our church. Please check out the Facebook page here: www.facebook.com/YouthFest2014

For those who remember, I had done the stem cell extraction mid-Dec, but the final results are not back yet. And that’s why I still don't have any concrete news about the transplant steps. The Doctor said the low level tests showed good results, but the high resolution (or much deeper test results are still pending). BUT that’s not a problem, I trust in the Lord's timing. And everything happens for the best...

Since the stem cell collection procedure, I had not done any blood tests - so was advised to do one today just to check on things. All the results are positive. Most of the blood counts are very much in the normal range, like for any normal person. Platelets are a bit lower than ideal, but it’s not anything to be alarmed about. Can't thank the Lord enough for taking care of me, and enabling my body to recover from all the chemotherapy...

That’s the latest... Oh, incase you wondering about the post title... If you aren't, what’s wrong with you? I'm thinking up innovative titles to catch your attention, and you haven't bothered to think about it...! lol...

About the title: My cousin +David Anush had organised a stem cell donor drive in Trivandrum, along with the help of many others whom I've not met - BUT they did so much, that I don't know how to thank them. +Suresh Devarajan & +Suresh John Jacob are two others I have to mention for an amazing drive at TVM, where over 350 people registered. There was a small write-up in the newspaper too. Picture on Facebook. It’s amazing how friends of friends and their friends have all come together and helped so much in so many ways. And most of all in prayers...

So at this drive, a lady called Manju Gilbert (G+ showed me 3 Manju's, so couldn't link) got to know about me. And during one of her meditations with the Gospel, God spoke to her in Proverbs 3:1-8. She had read it in the NIV and NKJV versions, but somehow was prompted and inspired to read the KJV too... Let me quote from her email to me:
============================
"Morning I had promised myself to spend some more time later in the day meditating on Proverbs 3:1-8. I didn’t get round to doing it. I could feel a gentle prompting, revisit it & that I did and not only in NIV & NKJV version but also in KJV. I read it and the first thing that struck me is Oh my God this for Jason. I believe that verse/version from KJV(King James Version) is for Jason. 

Proverbs 3:2 - For the length of days & long life and peace, shall they add to thee... 6: In all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy path. 7: Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the Lord and depart from evil. 8: It shall be health(medicine literal meaning in Hebrew) to thy navel(body) and marrow to thy bones. Amen"
============================

Yes, she called me 'Jason' - not a big deal. Many of you still don't know how to pronounce or spell my name... hehe... :) But that’s how I came to this title. Such an inspiring and thoughtful message, from someone whom I've never might. Its awesome when I think about the prayers being said for me, even without my knowledge. A pastor once said our prayers ALL add up. As the basket fills, they are carried to our Lord... And the basket much FILL to the brim before going up... So prayer for others too, not just our own needs... You never know when your prayer might be the one to fill the basket, and will help shoot of the whole load of requests unto the Lord...

I try to pray for others too. Mostly generically, but also taking names - but at times we can forget. So today, I have started writing all the names down, so I can call out each of them, and not forget. Our prayers should be more for others... More for thanking the Lord for his unfailing grace and mercy... More to declare our love and to acknowledge that Jesus died for us and has paid the price for our sins and our healing...

About the Blog title... B+

My friends and family have been pushing me to start blogging about my fight with cancer. To let my feelings known and to put information out there about what I'm going through, in the hope that it benefits others going through similar trials. And also to increase awareness about #StemCell donation... I am a very private person, so I really don't know how much personal feelings I'll share, but I'm hoping to do something good with the blog. Time will tell how it turns out...

Now, the aim of this post is to introduce the title. I'll go back in time and definitely share more details on the initial diagnosis and whats happened so far. But to introduce the title, I need to say that at the present point in time, the next course of action is a stem cell transplant... Popularly called a #BoneMarrow transplant.

When people hear about this, they feel pain and fear due to the various myths out there about Bone marrow donation. And another thing some ask is this:

"Whats your blood group? Can I help if we belong to the same blood group?"

I'll get into the details of Stem cell donation later. But for now, know that its got NOTHING to do with a persons blood group...

Anyways, a few days back a close friend (Liju Thomas) got asked the same question. Someone was asking him about me, and suggested the same - about helping if we had the same blood group. Liju knew that it is not related to the blood group, so explained it to that the person who asked. Later, Liju told me about this episode and while talking about blogging, he did ask about my blood group. And when I said B+, that's when he suggested this title.

For those who know Liju Thomas, he is great at marketing... And sells his ideas well. On most occasions, I don't succumb (lol), but this time, he was absolutely right. By the amazing grace of God, I have been positive throughout these turbulent times. My wife, our parents and all friends have been amazing support too, which further helped being #positive and in fighting #cancer.

I couldn't think of a better blog title. And finally after months of procrastination, I got the much needed push to start this blog. I couldn't get "B+" as the URL, and "BePositive" was already taken, hence I chose "cancer-bepositive". So the blog URL is:
http://www.cancer-bepositive.blogspot.co.uk/

So special thanks to +Liju Thomas for the idea of the blog title...

There are loads of people who have been by my side, and I'm indebted to them for life. As I write more, I hope to mention each and everything on of them. These are the webpages that my family and friends have created to help raise awareness:
www.facebook.com/HelpJeson
www.sahita.co.uk
www.twitter.com/HelpJeson


You can follow me on my personal links for Facebook, on Blogger and on Twitter too...


With love and prayers,
Jeson Chelleth
#Cancer Warrior