Showing posts with label Patience. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Patience. Show all posts

Wednesday, 29 October 2014

Another major milestone

I know its been a while since my last post, and I can't make any excuses, because it is really my fault for not taking out time to blog more often. I've had a calm few months now, and all along praying for the blood counts to come up and envisioning (believing fully) that my counts will be restored to BETTER than before values. BETTER than what they were in July 2012, before any treatment started. Chemotherapy have battered my bone marrow, and doctors say the counts would never be as high as before, BUT I have a Lord who is mighty. He is all powerful, and can do wonderful things...! What seems impossible in our worldly eyes, is possible for my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. Hallelujah, Amen...!

So what have I been doing the last few months? Well, in August the PICC line (on the left arm) got infected. I got up one morning with severe pain and swelling in the arm, and had to rush to hospital. It was oozing pus and they decided to pull the line out. As the arm was swollen, and pus was there, I was started on anti-biotics. Later a small clot was discovered, due to which they had to give me blood thinning injections. And because my platelets were below 50, I had to be given platelets everyday, following which I could self inject the blood thinning medication.

My neutrophil counts had come to 2.9 before this incident, but due to the heavy anti-biotics and possibly the blood thinning too, the counts kept dropping and had reached 0.3 at one stage. It was then I requested the doctor to allow me to stop the blood thinning. The arm swelling had decreased, BUT it was a gamble then, because the clot could get worse and the arm would swell up again and there could have been further complications. BUT we prayed and decided to wait on the Lord. By God's grace, it didn't get worse, but the neutrophils again was low and I had to be more careful and stay indoors.

Check out this crude graph I whipped up, showing the roller-coaster ride the neutrophil counts have taken:


Around May time they were flat at zero, but thats post transplant. Then you can see two peaks at 3.7 and 2.9, but infections happened and they again dropped. The last drop from 2.9 (Aug 1st week) is what I was talking above. Since then the neutrophils made a slow recovery, hovering around the 0.6-0.7 range, until two weeks back. Then on my brother-in-laws birthday, 15th Oct it crossed 1 in over two months...! And yesterday, the neutrophils were 2.3, just in time for my return to work today. :) What great timing from the Lord. We see delays in things all the time, and get impatient - but our Lord provides and His timing is always perfect...!

Also, by God's grace, the platelets have been stable since the start of October. And I have not needed any transfusion for about 3 weeks now. Still around 20 only, and have a LONG way to go to the values we have envisioned and praying about, but atleast its stable. We have jotted down values for what we want the counts to be, thats our vision for the values of Hb, WBC, platelets and neutrophils. And we don't ask for it in prayer, BUT we THANK GOD for giving it to us.

Thanks once again for all your prayers. Especially pray for my work, that I can diligently do my duties. I pray for all of you too, and believe that praying for others in more important, as our needs will automatically be meet by the Lord.

God bless...!

Tuesday, 27 May 2014

40 days

The number 40 has a lot of significance in the Bible. In Noah's time it rained 40 days and 40 nights, the Israelites roamed the desert for 40 years, Jesus fasted in the desert for 40 days and 40 nights, and so on...

I had a tough 40 days too, Yesterday was day 40 after my transplant... It's not because of the side effects. The side effects wore off within 2 weeks after the transplant, but ever since that time, each day I have been waiting on the Lord. Waiting for this time. His perfect time...

I waited patiently for the Lord; 
   he turned to me and heard my cry. 
He lifted me out of the slimy pit, 
   out of the mud and mire; 
he set my feet on a rock 
   and gave me a firm place to stand. 
He put a new song in my mouth, 
   a hymn of praise to our God. 
Many will see and fear the Lord 
   and put their trust in him.
                                    Psalm 40:1-3

For me to go home, my blood counts needed to pick up. For that to happen, the new stem cells that was put into me needed to find a good home in the bone marrow and start producing healthy cells. They needed to form neutrophils (combating infection), platelets (clotting) and RBCs, and many others. Only when the neutrophils touch 0.5, do they send me home, so there is lesser risk of infection (normal range is above 2).

By God's grace, I have been keeping very fit and healthy over the last 2-3 weeks, it was just that the counts were not moving. It's not easy to wait, trust me. For someone like me, who like things done soon, in time, such waiting is a real trial. A real test of my will power and patience. Not to mention, the Devil keeps putting silly/disheartening thoughts in your mind - so many "what-ifs" that pull you down. BUT I wasn't let down by these thoughts, because the Lord hasn't given us a spirit of fear, NO, he has given us a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. I kept rebuking such thoughts, and clinging onto his unfailing love for me, and using my little faith to cling onto his steadfast faith.

Romans 8:28 says: And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

I believe there is a special purpose for my life, and I believe that the Lord has HIS plans for me. Henceforth, it's not what I want to do with my life, but what His will is for my life...

Each day, prayers went up. Not just mine, but Ancy, my parents, my family, friends from our Church, loads of people who don't even know me that well, people from all parts of the globe were praying for me... For the last 10 day or so, people from our prayer group have been praying especially for me, everyday between 10 and 10:15pm. And all these added up, and kept going up to the Lord. When we pray, a saying goes like this, God can answer in 3 ways:
   He says YES, and gives us what we want,
   He says NO, and gives us something better,
   He says WAIT, and gives us the best!

The counts stayed flat for more than a month, imagine how the wait was. Everyday asking the nurse my counts, and the answer coming back as your neutrophils are still zero. Now, about a week back, they got to 0.1, but again the Doctors don't treat that very important, and they need to see a rise. The last few days, I stopped asking even, and just waited for the Lord to do his miracle. That's why this post is a day late, because ONLY today I got told by the Consultant that my neutrophils was 0.2 yesterday... :)

Now, this long wait was for a reason... Only the Master planner knows. I could only guess and believe in my heart that it was so that the cells adjust well, and will work well for the rest of my lifetime... I thank the Lord for his wondering grace, each day is a blessing from above. Thanks to you ALL for praying for me, please do continue to do so... I am praying for you too - if you have any special needs, do let me know, so I can pray specifically for your needs. We serve a God who loves us and IF we ask Him anything in Jesus name, he will not disappoint us... Either we get what we ask for, or else something much much better...!

God bless...