Pressing on, to win the battle

I know it's been a long time, since my last post... So firstly, apologies... Guess I got comfortable at home, and was kept busy doing stuff around the house. Also, we have our annual charity event happening soon, so that has kept me busy too... Those in UK, please do try and make it... All details can be found here:
https://www.facebook.com/YouthFest2014

So, I've been at home for a few months now... The last couple of blood test results were good, and body has recovered well. Just been having some skin reactions, and getting styes in the eye, but apart from that, keeping fit. Hair has grown back, and I'm keeping fine physically, and also mentally and spiritually. Still, I have to go in for further treatment from the first week of April. I haven't found a donor yet, so the options for me are:
1. to use my own stem cells.
2. use cord blood
3. do nothing and wait

An adult donor is the best option, but since that not possible as yet, we have prayed and opted to use my own stem cells. Other option was cord blood, which we weren't keen about. Weighing the pros and cons, at this point in time, we felt using my own stem cells would be best. All the specialist doctors were divided in opinion too, about the first two options, and it was finally left on us as a family to decide... Doing nothing was deemed high risk, as the first time I relapsed within about 8months, so doctors wanted to do some treatment, without delaying anymore...

There were a lot of numbers and percentages thrown as us about risks during the transplant, Graft-versus-host disease, post transplant problems/infections, mortality, chances of relapse, etc... But we've left everything in God's hand. Here on earth, as the doctors say, we're going ahead for treatment, but whatever happens, we believe that everything is taken care of by the Almighty, so trusting in him... And pressing on... The treatment would last a month, and then I'll need few months to recover and for the blood counts to recover to normal levels...

Praying that this treatment will be my last... Believing in my heart and trusting in Christ, the Almighty to shower his Grace and blessings...

As you all have been praying for me thus far, please continue to uphold me in your prayers. And not just for me, please pray for all those in need... those in need of physical healing, those who have financial needs, those who might be having problems in the marriage/relationships, those praying for children, those suffering due to natural disasters, those affected by war, and so on...

Prayer should be more about asking for others, and thanking for what we have. You ask, then what about our own needs? Well, trust that others will be praying for you...

God bless...!

Marrow to thy bones

Praise the Lord Almighty, for enabling me to be fit and fine. I know it’s been a long absence, and I should have written more. But the evil one always finds ways to keep us away from declaring HIS works...

Last week, I had some severe swelling in both eyes. Started with redness and both eyes were red/sore, and the pharmacist gave drops for conjunctivitis. As it did not settle after 3days and both eyelids had swollen up, I visited the eye doctors and it was sties in both eyes...!!! I'm not sure if I ever had a sty in the eye, but this time had two, one in each eye... :) Anyways, my eyes got better over the weekend, and the swelling in the right eye went away completely this Monday, and it’s almost gone in the left eye too. The Doctor had given me antibiotics for 5 days and advised to do hot-compress treatment 3-4 times a day. By placing hot/warm towel on the eyes and massaging it a bit.

So that kept me away from the computer and cell phone for 3-4days. In a way it’s good, as I rested much more. Else I'm always online (computer, phone, tablet, etc) and it’s so addictive that time just gets wasted... Also, we're preparing for our annual charity program, and so was doing my bit to help the youths of our church. Please check out the Facebook page here: www.facebook.com/YouthFest2014

For those who remember, I had done the stem cell extraction mid-Dec, but the final results are not back yet. And that’s why I still don't have any concrete news about the transplant steps. The Doctor said the low level tests showed good results, but the high resolution (or much deeper test results are still pending). BUT that’s not a problem, I trust in the Lord's timing. And everything happens for the best...

Since the stem cell collection procedure, I had not done any blood tests - so was advised to do one today just to check on things. All the results are positive. Most of the blood counts are very much in the normal range, like for any normal person. Platelets are a bit lower than ideal, but it’s not anything to be alarmed about. Can't thank the Lord enough for taking care of me, and enabling my body to recover from all the chemotherapy...

That’s the latest... Oh, incase you wondering about the post title... If you aren't, what’s wrong with you? I'm thinking up innovative titles to catch your attention, and you haven't bothered to think about it...! lol...

About the title: My cousin +David Anush had organised a stem cell donor drive in Trivandrum, along with the help of many others whom I've not met - BUT they did so much, that I don't know how to thank them. +Suresh Devarajan & +Suresh John Jacob are two others I have to mention for an amazing drive at TVM, where over 350 people registered. There was a small write-up in the newspaper too. Picture on Facebook. It’s amazing how friends of friends and their friends have all come together and helped so much in so many ways. And most of all in prayers...

So at this drive, a lady called Manju Gilbert (G+ showed me 3 Manju's, so couldn't link) got to know about me. And during one of her meditations with the Gospel, God spoke to her in Proverbs 3:1-8. She had read it in the NIV and NKJV versions, but somehow was prompted and inspired to read the KJV too... Let me quote from her email to me:
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"Morning I had promised myself to spend some more time later in the day meditating on Proverbs 3:1-8. I didn’t get round to doing it. I could feel a gentle prompting, revisit it & that I did and not only in NIV & NKJV version but also in KJV. I read it and the first thing that struck me is Oh my God this for Jason. I believe that verse/version from KJV(King James Version) is for Jason. 

Proverbs 3:2 - For the length of days & long life and peace, shall they add to thee... 6: In all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy path. 7: Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the Lord and depart from evil. 8: It shall be health(medicine literal meaning in Hebrew) to thy navel(body) and marrow to thy bones. Amen"
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Yes, she called me 'Jason' - not a big deal. Many of you still don't know how to pronounce or spell my name... hehe... :) But that’s how I came to this title. Such an inspiring and thoughtful message, from someone whom I've never might. Its awesome when I think about the prayers being said for me, even without my knowledge. A pastor once said our prayers ALL add up. As the basket fills, they are carried to our Lord... And the basket much FILL to the brim before going up... So prayer for others too, not just our own needs... You never know when your prayer might be the one to fill the basket, and will help shoot of the whole load of requests unto the Lord...

I try to pray for others too. Mostly generically, but also taking names - but at times we can forget. So today, I have started writing all the names down, so I can call out each of them, and not forget. Our prayers should be more for others... More for thanking the Lord for his unfailing grace and mercy... More to declare our love and to acknowledge that Jesus died for us and has paid the price for our sins and our healing...

The 3 stripes of Adidas

[2nd attempt. Blogger hung on me and I lost half the post, so had to redo it. The Devil tries, but can't stop me... :) He can only TRY...!!!]

For those who know me, they will know that I am an Adidas guy. I'm not sure when the craze started, but it has been well over a decade (around the turn of the century maybe). Not sure what it was, maybe the simplicity of a brand with 3 stripes... In any case, I gradually only started buying Adidas gear and now most of my wardrobe is full of stripes. lol...

A few days back, I got asked again by a church friend about why Adidas, and I referred to The Trinity and said by His stripes we are saved. Although it came on as a general quick-wit comment, I really liked the thought, and it got me thinking. All this while, I've been wearing the 3 stripes, and it was just another brand for me. Now, it has much more meaning. I wear the 3 stripes and I have the trinity with me at all times - God the Father, Christ Jesus the Son and the Holy Spirit.

Let me refer some verses: 
1 Peter 2:24 - He himself bore our sins in His body on the tree (cross), so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by His stripes (wounds) you have been healed.

This talks about Jesus paying the price for our sins, but not just that; he also paid the price for our healing - both spiritual and physical healing. There is another verse which talks about physical healing by the blood of Jesus Christ.
Matthew 8:17 - This was to fulfill what was spoken through the prophet Isaiah: "He took up our infirmities and carried our diseases."
[Which refers to the fulfilling of the prophesy from the Old Testament in Isaiah 53:4-5]

How amazing... To know that all these years, knowing or unknowingly I have been under the protection of the Trinity. Like spiderman's uncle said, "With great power, comes great responsibility." :) I don't have any power, just the strength that comes from the grace and mercy of our Lord. But still, now it is an added responsibility as I wear the stripes of Jesus. Actions speak louder than words, and today I realise how my actions need to show a life in Christ as I bear the stripes...

Not sure if you saw the post I shared on FB earlier today (from a group called Christian PF). Honestly, I thought about this topic 3-4 days back, and had written the subject and 1-2 paras also, but just didn't manage to finish writing. Today when I saw this post on FB, I was really touched by it. Today was the day for this blog post, and the picture message ties in so well to this topic. That our lives, the way we lead it, should make non-believers question their disbelief in God.

So my healing has been pre-approved, over 2000 years ago. And my faith is strong and nothing can change the way I feel about tomorrow and the years ahead. The Lord has something planned for my life and my humble prayer is this: Take me and mould me oh God...!!! So that when people get to know me, they will know you better...!

On the treatment front, I was due to meet the consultant tomorrow (Jan 8, 2014) and discuss next steps with regards to the transplant. But few test results were not back yet, and the meeting has been postponed to sometime next week. The Lord's timing is perfect and I don't fear one second about whats going to happen. Whatever will happen will happen for the best. I live all the days of my life that have been given to me from above. And I pray that each of these days, I spend knowing more about my Saviour, and declaring his wonderful works.


Disclaimer: I am NOT getting paid by #Adidas (maybe they should consider it now) and don't wish to make any comments that can cause corporate advertising issues... :) These thoughts are mine and ONLY my thoughts...

A blessed Christmas season

How I am blessed to be home during this Christmas season. How I am blessed to be able to attend Church, visit friends and spend time with close family and friends... How I am blessed to be His son. Jesus's death on the cross bought us salvation, and redeemed us from suffering due to sin. Simply put, Sin is absence of God. How blessed I am that Jesus died for me and paid the price NOT ONLY for my sins, but also for my healing...

My health is great, and I am keeping well. Eating and resting well. Next appointment with the Doctor is on Jan 8th, and I should have the results from the stem cell collection and also other results from donor searches. It is going to be a BIG day, when most likely a final decision will be made about what transplant option to go for... So keep praying for me...

Btw, not sure how many of you saw the this post I put on FB on 25th Dec:
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Today is not about Christmas trees, snow, bells or santa... Even this Christmas season is here for a reason... Let's remember today for its real importance...

For Jesus Christ was born this day, to save us from the bondage of sin...! In his death on the cross, He has already paid the price for our sins and our healing, we only need to have faith and believe...

I find this story about the birds, one of the best ways to describe why Jesus Christ had to be born amongst us. Please read it...
http://t.co/PnTM19SS8c

Quote from the Daily Bread:
"The birth of Christ brought God to man,
        the cross of Christ brings man to God."

Wishing you ALL a blessed Christmas season... Love one another and spread peace and happiness...!
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Sadly, only 19 people have liked it so far... :) If it were a funny clip or joke or a selfie, it would have gathered likes by the dozens. Even more if I were a woman... ;) [Please, don't call me a sexist, its a fact about behaviour on social media].

Anyways, I hope this post reaches more people now and they can get to know my Saviour better. Please do read the story about the birds. It's a great example that describes why God, the Creator had to be born into this world, to save us from impending doom...

"And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us" (John 1:14)

Once again, wishing you all a blessed Christmas season and a wonderful blessed New year...

Stem cell harvest...

5.51million... I wish this were a figure in £ or $ or even Indian Rupees... :) None the less, its a very good figure that was achieved. In terms of the #stemcell harvest that was done over the last 2 days. As some of you might have read my previous post (on injecting myself), I was due for this procedure, in order to collect my own stem cells. This would be one transplant option for me down the line (if the collected stem cells are MRD-negative, cancer-free), in the form of an #autologous stem cell #transplant.

Anyways, just wanted to share my experience to all those concerned about my health and also to potential #stemcell donors. Firstly, I feel NO different to what I felt before the stem cell collection. I've had a normal day today, watching television, surfing the web, making lunch (my wife did all the chopping, and I had to just grill my healthy sandwiches) and now I'm blogging... Oh yes, the grill was messy and I spent over half an hour cleaning it too. My dear wife and friends had grilled all sorts of stuff on it during the charity fund raiser last Saturday, and it took me a long time to get all the grease out... :)

So if someone who has gone through so much chemo can tolerate and be fit the next day, I'm sure all you healthy people out there will do just fine.

For those who are new to this, the stem cell harvest is done by #PBSC method, where an #Apheresis machine helps extract the stem cells from your peripheral blood. It's a really clever piece of equipment which centrifuges the blood and because different components of the blood have different densities, they separate and can be extracted. The nurse technician was saying its not the machine thats key, BUT actually it is those stimulation injections (like #GCSF and #plerixafor) which have really boosted the power of the PBSC procedure which is being used more and more now.

What to expect on the day?
Well, it's pretty similar to whats advertised and shown on the web. You get two pokes (initially a needle, but thats removed once the vein is found) on each arm. The exact location depends on where they can find a straight bit of vein. If you're scared of needles, think about the greater cause and the life you'll save. It takes some time to setup, but once started its a 4-5 hours process. The initial needle pain settles soon and then you have to just relax and wait. The nurse was always besides me incase I needed anything.

While on the machine, your movement is restricted a bit, but you can carry on eating, talking or sleeping as normal. I tried sleeping, but being me was not able to shut down... I was texting, whatsapping and even did a google hangout session with my parents and sister, to see the stunts my little nephew Jordan was doing in #Pune. Mid-way, I felt a slight tingling feeling on the lips, but on a scale of 1 to 10, it was around 1-2. And towards the last 15-20mins the tingling sensation was a little more, maybe a 4 on 10. It a known side effect due to the anti-coagulant used to keep the blood from clotting.

For me, the worst part of the procedure was controlling the urge to use the toilet. On the first day, before the start of the procedure I went to the loo twice, and still the last half hour was a real stretch. I was counting minutes, to be taken off the machine, so I could rush to the toilet... lol... The finish of the second day was much much better. Why? Because I didn't even last half the way... ;) I guess I didn't drain enough before the start, and half way through the sensation started. I tried controlling, but there was no way I could last another 2-3hrs, so I asked the nurse for a urine bottle. Then the curtains closed and there was a looong sigh of relief (with zero spillage). That's why when the procedure finished, I was in no rush... So best advise I can give, don't bother controlling...

Also, on the first day, I was treated like a king, because a kind lady was going around the hospital, with a huge Classical #Harp, and playing melodious tunes. I thought it would be for some charity or fund raiser, but she was doing it completely voluntarily. Using her own estate car, to lug that huge Harp (she had a trolley for it too) and playing music for patients at the hospital. I'm no good appreciating music, but the gesture was awesome. Going completely out of your way for strangers...!!

Finally, about the numbers... When donating stem cells, the required count depends on the weight of the recipient. In my case, as I was my own donor, they wanted atleast 2millions stem cells and 4millions would be much better. You know the CD34 count I was talking about, the unit is actually in million. So earlier when they wanted my count to be over 10, it meant 10million. Out of whats in the peripheral blood, the apheresis machine can extract 8-10% only. On the first morning, my CD34 count was 33, and they were able to collect 3.06million. Second day, it was around 21, and they were able to collect 2.45million. And thats how we got to the 5.51million figure.


After the procedure, like I mentioned, I'm feeling perfectly normal. They do repeat blood tests at the end of the cycle and top up any missing nutrients. For me, they gave me some magnesium and potassium supplements as only those had dropped a tiny bit. Because almost all the blood (sans the stem cells) are returned to your body, there is no lose to you anyways. I've felt much much worse after a day long session of cricket. Trust me! I've had days after cricket, where I have had to have pain-killers and rest my back and use all sorts of massagers for different parts of the body. :)

Potential Donors: You will be healthy enough to have much more stem cells in the peripheral blood and so in most cases will require only 1 day of this procedure. The Doctors and nurses are always around to help and advise in your particular case, all depending on the needs of the recipient. So no matter what happens, don't back out when the time actually comes to save a life...

Take care,
Jeson
Thank you Lord Jesus for keeping me save and blessing me so abundantly...!

Injected myself today... twice...!

As the search for an unrelated donor continues, the doctors are trying alternative options too. First being to collect my own stem cells, test it and make sure it is cancer free and give that back to me as a transplant. This is called an #autologous #stemcell transplant. They tried collection off the back of my third chemo cycle, but I didn't mobilize enough to go onto the #apheresis machine. Let me explain that line in more detail first...

• Off the back: that’s the lingo used. Simply means at the end of my chemo cycle, they give me #G-CSF injections, to boost my stem cell counts, and push it into the peripheral blood.
• G-CSF (Granulocyte colony-stimulating factor): As per wiki, it is a glycoprotein that stimulates the bone marrow to produce granulocytes and stem cells and release them into the bloodstream (peripheral blood).
• Didn't mobilize: They do a test called CD34 count, to check the amount of stem cells in the peripheral blood. And for a good collection it needs to be above 10. Mine wasn't even 1 at the time, hence they used to lingo didn't mobilize.
• Apheresis machine: It is the machine used to separate platelets or in my case stem cells. The blood is drawn out of one arm, goes through this machine which does the separation and then the remaining blood is returning into the other arm.

Now, back to why I injected myself... Since I did not mobilize earlier, they have slotted me to go onto the apheresis machine again, on Dec 18th (coming Wednesday). And prior to this, as any normal stem cell donor would have to do, I have to get these #GCSF injections. I have started the injections today, will do the same tomorrow and on Monday too. On Tuesday I go to the Hospital where they do blood tests and if need be give me another #mobilization injection called #Plerixafor. Before I got 300µgrams (that’s micrograms), but this time it’s a higher doze to get me to properly mobilize. They come in different syringe sizes and I got the 300µgrams and 480µgrams syringes, making a total of 780µgrams for my body weight. That’s why 2 syringes and hence 2 injections.

Why I did it myself...? Well, if not I would have to travel to the hospital in the cold, or else wait a whole day for a local nurse to come and do this simple injection. And for those who know me, I don't like waiting. I was never scared of needles and it never bothered me. But injecting myself was different and I did not fancy doing it. Yes, there might have been a little fear. But towards the end of the last chemo cycle, when I realised that eventually I'd have to get some injections at home, I decided to brave it and under the supervision of the nurse, injected myself the last two days in hospital. These injections are specially made and can be easily self-administered with very little risk - extremely thin needles, with spring action that pulls out the needle quickly after the doze is given (check the pic above). I must say I didn't do the second injection properly and it didn't click, so had to manually pull out the needle. So had very very little blood came out, like a tiny rain drop. Absolutely normal and I’ve had a bit of blood come out even when the nurses did the injection in hospital.

Why I'm writing all this in so much detail? I thought of two reasons:
1. To give courage to all you potential stem cell donors.
There have been many new donors who have signed up during the various drives conducted for me and others like me, and that is great. But IF and WHEN the time comes and you are identified as a match for someone (your gene twin), PLEASE don't have second thoughts. You would be the person's only hope, so don't let any fear or doubt come to your mind. If I can inject myself and be perfectly fine, you can take a few stabs too right? Remember, it is to save a life and it cannot compare to the highly insignificant pain you ‘might’ have to go through.

2. To pray for me.
Pray that these injections work well, and my body produces good stem cells. Pray that I properly inject myself the next couple of days… :) Pray that the stem cell collection process goes ahead smoothly on the 18th of this month. And most important, pray that the collected stem cells are fully free of blasts/cancerous cells.

Once the CD34 count goes above 10, next step is going on the apheresis machine, and I'll let you all know about that experience too.

PS: Please don't think or say how brave or strong I am. My strength comes from the Lord, who made the Heavens and the Earth. Who came down as man, and died on the cross and has already paid the price for my healing... Please read John 11:4


Keep the faith, believe and be positive...

Not so free afterall...

So, the PIC line was removed last Saturday. I was glad that finally I'd be free and can use my left arm better. But guess what, I've been tied down since and its gonna be another few more days I guess...

For those who haven't read the last post, I was developing some rash and blisters due to the plastic dressing used to cover the insertion point of the PIC line. It had been in there for over 3 months, and the skin was not taking it anymore. So when the line was taken out, there was a few blisters and the skin was tender. The nurse put a cloth dressing till the PIC wound heals and said I can take it off in a day or two. I took the dressing out on Monday, and guess what - the whole upper arm was inflamed. The skin was all red, and it was all covered in blisters...!!!

Since it did not subside, they called me back to Hospital, and I spent most of Wednesday in the day unit. They were suspecting #Shingles, so I was kept in isolation and given a nice bed too... As it wasn't the usual sitting position of the day unit, I didn't mind the usual long wait. Shingles is caused by a virus similar to the chicken pox virus. It's contagious by touch, and for those who haven't had chicken pox before, it seems they develop chicken pox. So Ancy and me were a bit worried as she has never had chicken pox before.

Anyways, they took blood samples, blood cultures, swabs of the pus, etc. And finally, they decided to send me home on antibiotics for the rash, until the swab test results get back.

The skin is terribly itchy and I can't tell you how I am controlling the urge to scratch all over... :) Although the last few days have been painful and it doesn't look like subsiding any time soon, the good news is that the swab tests and blood tests were all negative (no shingles). So amidst the severe rash and uneasiness, its good to know that its not gonna be worse. Praise God...

Please do continue to pray for me, so that this allergy/rash subsides soon. I'm due for #StemCell collection next week, so need to be well by mid of next week...